Listen to the Critics!

Why is it that when someone thinks differently from us we are suddenly offended? How is advice any different from constructive criticism if spoken respectfully? Consultations, suggestions, even therapy are simply just opinions to enlighten us more. Have you ever heard the quote, “If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room”? That is exactly my point. Imagine going through life with everyone agreeing with everything you said and always believing you were right! How would you possibly grow? Now, of course you’ll encounter people who have no idea what they’re talking about or in no way can relate! Or simply just want to talk to be heard. Ignore those ones, but the ones who can support their own criticism and have a reason for doing so, take note. Continue to explain your side but listen as well, debates don’t always have to be aggressive. We all have to consider what people see on the outside looking in. I myself, never boast about being a good writer because I want to be great, so I seek and reach out to more experienced authors. It is critical that we don’t reach a plateau or we levitate off one, so sometimes critics are exactly what we need. Try not to become so easily irritated the next time someone voices a point of view that contradicts your own.

Raw.

So I’ve stopped writing for a few days because tons of stress! It without a doubt took a toll on me. A few friends even checked up on me because they were expecting the daily blogs I promised. My reply was, I have nothing motivational to put out there. The main purpose of my blogs were to uplift and inspire in a way. I wanted you all to connect somehow. Thankfully, I was made aware, “It’s ok to let someone see the raw side.”. Oblivious to the fact that we can all relate to stress! It is a lesson in itself. So here it is! Some may disagree, but I think aging is somewhat of a lousy feeling because things just tend to get extremely harder. Whether it’s relationships, finances, maintaining good health, etc. Though the lessons life teaches us over time are incredible. My most recent lesson was the meaning of life! I was on the verge of suicide. Fighting to find the answer to “What do I have to live for?”. Each time I reached a dead end. I thought to myself I’m always there for everyone else but can only count on one hand who is there for me! That’s was it! That was my answer! I live for the few people who appreciate me, the few who see my worth and potential. Though that may not be a lot it is enough for me. I read somewhere the purpose of life is to find your gift and share your gift! Maybe my purpose is to keep others going. Spreading a positive word! I know for a fact I’ve shown people the true meaning of friendship. The value of real love. I have gave a better understanding to tough situations. The ones I know I have a huge affect on, the ones who’d I truly hurt if I left because my life has a purpose to them! Being that my life had a purpose them it has a purpose to me! Once you find your purpose life becomes a little easier to deal with. Trust me we all have one!

“Too, Also, In Addition”

As insane as this may sound I have made a vow to no longer express my feelings first. Let me explain. I see an obvious difference between, “I love you” and “I love you too”. “I miss you” and “I miss you too”. It’s almost as “too” is like an automatic response. A reflex in a way. It is as if when someone says one of those phrases to another, people feel obligated to follow up regardless of it being true or not. I have actually found myself being guilty of doing so. I don’t want someone to agree with my feelings because they feel as if it’s the right thing to say! Nor do I want to continuing doing that to someone else. So instead I’d rather wait too see an individual’s true feelings they want to express without any type of pressure. In return if the feeling is mutual I will now follow up without the “too” attached. Seeing that “too” seems to reduce or underestimates the genuine meaning behind our feelings. It’s only fair we fall for an actual human being not someone with robotic responses.

Thanks to Shamar for keeping me on my feet about blogging daily ❣️

Once In a Lifetime

How many times have you been in love? I have conversed with quite a few friends that have mentioned their 1st and 2nd sometimes even 3rd love. Or how many times they have had their heart broken. It never gets easier for me to understand. I’m one of those who believe you only have one true love in a lifetime. That ex you constantly compare people to. The one who comes to mind and you think “what if?”. We move on because of course, that is what’s required of us. Even find happiness in another. Though, personally I believe that next love is just an agreement we make with ourselves. Settling in a way. We know that we have already experienced the upmost love there is to have with one so we’re not completely bummed when we don’t receive it all in another. It’s like going to an amusement park after having been to Disney World. It’s still fun, just not equivalent. I’ve met amazing people, that I can connect with on a few levels just nothing comparable to my past, but that’s fine because I have that already checked off my bucket list. Now, why it may have not worked out, that’s something you’d have to ask yourself. Sometimes it’s the right person, just the wrong time! That’s why I’m never surprised when I see people reunite so many years later! What are your thoughts? Can you fall in true love more than once?

Self Love

My perception of self love changed over the past few years. I thought maintaining a certain look and spoiling myself is all self love took. Boy, was I wrong. After a disconnection with someone I thought I couldn’t bare to be without I had more time to re-evaluate myself. Not because I was treated bad or anything just because my attention was elsewhere. I noticed confrontation enhanced my anxiety and my tolerance level was actually way too high. Sometimes we tend to get so caught up on fulfilling our partners needs we forget our own. Their interests become ours so we neglect our own. We want to help them grow so we slow down on our own process. To avoid arguments we accept certain things we usually wouldn’t. Unintentionally of course! Not that isolation is what it takes but sometimes it is what’s needed. Take a step back reanalyze yourself and what actually makes you happy! Reconsider your likes, your soul and yourself! Self love is actually the best love!

The Only Competition

It is said that you should listen twice as much as you speak. After all, we do have two ears and only one mouth. Yet, the restrictions we set in place wouldn’t exist if we weren’t so focused on listening. Too often we share our ideas with our loved ones out of excitement to hear what they think, just to be shot down. Unmeaningfully our families quickly remind us of either the competition or how hard and long it’ll take us to reach our goals. For instance, maybe you want to make music or start a fashion label. Instead of some encouragement or shared excitement you’re reminded that the music industry is tough! Investing in the fashion business is risky! We even internet search what people we never even met have to say. The probabilities of failure or even success frightens us. So the deterioration of our dreams begins before it even starts. Our only competition is the listening ear. We fear what people think, even when we say we don’t. In conclusion, the only way to own your success is to completely confide in your own inner voice.

The Norm

We tend to look over things that are so common in the world. We belittle situations that are actually big deals just because society has in a way normalized the facts. Statistics say one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18 years old. Are you even shocked anymore when you hear about certain traumas in someone’s life or is it just the norm? Here’s a poem I’ll share from my own personal experience that I myself have grown to overlook.

Growing up love is just showing attention

At the age of 8 you don’t really know the difference between a good and bad intention.

And anybody bigger than you is someone you naturally fear. So when poppy comes in the room touches your thigh and says “you better not tell” you don’t even dare.

What’s my name he would say, “poppy” confused on why he would even ask that. Not knowing that’s only one of his sexual craves. Be a big girl, big girls are always brave. But poppy I just want to go outside and play. Babygirl after we finish I promise you could play all day. Though the real promise was keeping our little big secret a secret. And believe me the pain was real but after a few threats of me and my sister being killed it was nothing my little body couldn’t bare to feel.

I remember begging my sister to sleep on the top bunk because maybe then poppy couldn’t reach us. I know mommy is out late but maybe this night we wouldn’t have to put up such a big fight and maybe this night my sister wouldn’t have to put herself up for grabs like the last piece of cake to protect her little sister for pity’s sake!

The good out weigh the bad tho

When mommy was home we were normal little girls with bobos and pin curls

Well me, I was of a tomboy so instead of baby dolls I chose to play with my buzz light year toy

Perhaps that’s what poppy hated, maybe poppy wanted me to be a girl but instead of painting my nails pink he decided to be the one to take my innocence so my message to you all

Is pay attention make sure there is no poppy in your little boy or girls world.