No support…

I salute those who made their dreams come true without any support. I also question how those who lacked support did it without giving up. Quite frequently I will see posts or articles on social media stating that no support is all the support one needs. I have not wrapped my finger around that just yet. Personally, when I see the lack of enthusiasm or excitement in my peers when I consult in them about a new project of mine, I am very much bothered to say the least. I start to think, if my own loved ones don’t support my upcoming business, how can I expect strangers to? I have even tried to implement some of my loved ones interests into my project, still no feedback, questions, or anything. I think having a support system is very important in this day and age, whether it is to get the word out that you have product launching. Or to keep you going when the competition gets tough. Even if it is nothing but negative feedback, it is still something to better you and get you ready for what is out there in the world of business. Recently, I spoke with my co worker regarding, what I would call this issue of mine, she suggested that I “just show them“, I sadly then realized that no one is even looking. It is just hard sometimes not having that extra push. Though my projects are still into play coming early 2020, I say this to put emphasis on those reading. If you know someone with a vision, it costs you nothing to ask questions if you don’t understand, show interest in what gave them that idea in the first place, maybe even give suggestions. You never know what type of motivation you just gave them! You also never know what someone else has said to demotivate them as well. I bet you would have never guessed that someone has told me they did not take me serious when I told them my business ideas, but they have! So along with launching my business I will have to rely on myself for self motivation along the way. But then again, I rather no support than fake support. So here I am giving thanks, for nothing and also thanks for everything.

Changes.

Everything changes and that is exactly why life is so complex. We’re so used to our lives changing so frequently, we anticipate its arrival. Things out of our control, and within also. The weather changes every few months, so our clothes do too. We switch jobs, just like the policies of the ones we been with so long decided to change as well. Friends come and go, and we start to notice a few grey hairs in the mirror. Some even stress how much their in need of a change. We often say phrases such as, “In with the new and out with the old”. We have become so accustomed to this revolving door, consistency alarms us. In fact, we take things into our own hands sometimes without giving much thought. We sometimes overlook how great things are just how they occur. We get used to our partners flaws, we get to thinking the next person is flawless. So, we leave just to realize we were just fine with the flaws we once dealt with. We are anxious to take on a better paying job, completely blind to the amount of work and stress that job implies for that pay. It’s almost as in a way, we disrupt the universe by doing so. Then we end up regretting those actions, due to being so eager for change. Don’t get me wrong, I am not implying that change is a bad thing, though I used to be so afraid of it. What I’m saying is, change shouldn’t be forced unless necessary, it should come natural. Let me further explain what I mean by necessary. If you believe you can accomplish more than what you are currently settling for, then by all means, take the steps to do so. If you’re truly unhappy in a relationship, make your own happiness your personal goal and get out of there! However, just making changes without any true motive or good intentions is just setting yourself up for failure. To be conscience of the moves you are making is the best way to control a more positive outcome.

Detox.

We are all attempting to live a life opposed to what has already been embedded within us. After a certain period of time it is just natural to become routine to certain behaviors or feelings. Now though those habits may seem harmless at the moment, they can surely cause future conflict. It’s almost as the lives we’re living are formed by fixation. Some may find it hard to make better food choices because they were brought up making poor ones. Or find it difficult to trust our partners, because an unfaithful past relationship. Many even fear discontinuing a drug or alcohol that makes them feel good because they’re afraid they may feel bad without it. Understandable to say the least. The complications arise when those traditional acts become problematic in our daily lives. Let’s say, your doctor recommends that you change your diet because you’re now at a higher risk for heart disease. Or your relationship is suffering due to your inability to see the good. Perhaps, problems continue to progress in your life because of an addiction you have for a substance. This is where the challenge begins. The moment we realize that we have to overcome what has been the norm for us for some time now. The exact second in which we make our next move better than our last. No stopping to find who is to blame or what led you to this point. Simply, just having the willpower and control over your thoughts and actions. We all need to detox one way or another and believe me, it starts with your mind!

Balance.

Unintentionally, I’ve strayed away from something I found to love so very much. Writing, as one would expect. After constantly dodging my friends and family’s questions on why, I thought I’ve finally came up with an answer. I have no time! Which makes absolutely no sense! There are 24 hours in a day. I only work for 8 of them and obviously spend another 8 sleeping, well, on a good day. However, I still have 8 hours unaccounted for. So I came to realize the truth is, I have no balance. Quite often, I find myself being the one handing out advice, this time I’m here with a listening ear. How can I find the time to work, sleep and still do the things I love? Completely adulting has made my life miserable. Okay, I very well may be exaggerating but I’m sure that’s the next stage. Constantly watching my friends on social media have fun, while my nights consists of picking out clothes for the next work day. What am I missing here? Even my mother who is literally always working, and turning 50 this year, still finds the time to enjoy life. I need help wrapping my finger on what exactly am I missing. What protocols or formulas are you guys following that I wasn’t provided? Someone give me the cheat sheet! Maybe, just maybe I miss those days getting yelled at to change out my school clothes before I go outside to play. Life was so unsophisticated and fun. I’m only 25 and I feel so far from young!

You’re in Charge!

I’ll start off with this. There is no point in stressing something you can not change! I can not pressure that enough! Stressing about your current job situation, understandable. Apply elsewhere! Can’t find a job? Keep trying. Though, those things may take time, which causes stress alone, those examples are indeed changeable. So to be a little uneasy during the process is pretty inevitable. We’re all human.

However, most of us tend to become overly obsessed with situations we have no control over whatsoever. For instance, certain scenarios in relationships! Very often, people come to me dwelling on the what if’s in their relationship. What if my partner is cheating? What if they don’t love me how I love them? Both questions which you are incapable of changing if the theories were true. Dependencies managed by someone else. You can love someone more than they have ever been loved, they will still cheat if they want to. Cook for them like a 5 star chef, even fulfill all their sexual needs. Yet, they can still have the urge to cheat. You know you can not change how a person acts or carries their self! So why prolong any type of stress over things you can’t intervene no matter how bad we want to.

A life completely without stress may be close to impossible, but we do have a way in minimizing what we stress about. Things other people are in charge of, past situations that have came and gone, and things and people that came before us or while we were away. Whether you believe it’s Karma, prayer, or just simply that everything happens for a reason. The universe has a way of working things out.

Situations make you uncomfortable when it’s time to maneuver different. You’re in charge of your own emotions, so choose wisely.

Things like this don’t happened

That feeling of uncertainty

The butterflies in your stomach

It’s all unusual

Things like this don’t happen

Maybe, but only in the movies and often in the news

Things like this, don’t even happen to your friend or even your enemy

Then all of a sudden it does

Not to either of them, but you

Now you’re stuck and afraid of what to do

Things couldn’t possibly get worst or even better than this

This is reality

There’s nothing you can do to change it and sometimes you don’t even know if you want to or how you would if you could

Because things like don’t happen

Love at first sight doesn’t exist

You never could imagine losing your best friend

But it does and you do

It’ll definitely happen and this time maybe not to you but without a doubt in my mind to a few of them

Just because things do happen

Insecurities.

I’m very good at understanding why people think the way they do. In fact, I pride myself in doing so. I take a good amount of time evaluating all points of view. Hence, why I’d like to share my own view on a particular subject that we all have dealt with or will eventually encounter. Insecurities within a relationship! Whether we’ve been with someone who had them or we personally do ourselves. There’s still some things you have to understand without judgment. One can feel as if they are the most attractive person in the world, smartest too. Yet, still be insecure. Why? Insecurities do not always involve personal reflection. We can personally be in love with every aspect of ourselves and still be pessimistic of certain outcomes. So you ask, what are we insecure about? You think of your partner and all the things that attract you to them. You know that it’s reality that you’re not the only one that notices those exact same things. You remember how persistent you were with trying to gain and keep their attention. You think, what if someone else gives the same consistency? Doesn’t that seem like competition? Of course it does! That easily explains the lack of confidence. Thus, why I find it so very important to step in others shoes, take a look from the outside, instead of within. And, I say that to say this, take the time out to understand your partners insecurities instead of devaluing their feelings. Assure them that there is no need to feel that way. It doesn’t always have to be an argument or break up. Take insecurities as a form of love, as difficult as that may seem. On the other hand, to those who experience the insecurities themselves, slow down. Convert those pessimistic thoughts into optimism! Instead of being fearful, understand that they are with you for a reason. They chose you instead of the rest! There was something special about you that drew your partner to you. Take that and run with it! Remember it’s always mind over matter.